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A couple weeks ago I sprung for the new multiplayer map pack for Call of Duty 4. Having kinda/sorta mastered the maps that shipped with the game, I was ready to play die on some new real estate. Now that I’ve played them many times, I’m ready to give you my take on the ones I’ve played most. The map pack, if you haven’t heard, consists of Creek, Broadcast, Chinatown and Killhouse maps. The first three are the ones you’ll see most in the public Xboxlive multiplayer arenas. Killhouse is more for room-to-room action for training and private parties.

That said, here’s my take on the three maps I’ve played most:

Chinatown

Chinatown grab

I love the atmosphere here. The lighting and details of this map definitely puts you in C-town. I could almost smell the ramen noodles! The many rooms, nooks and crannies made it a tough arena for me. It’s definitely for the run-and-gun player. I have yet to find a truly great place to snipe from here. I’ve read where it’s very similar (if not a re-skinned version) of the COD2 Carentan map. Since I’ve never played COD2, I can’t say. It’s a claustrophobic experience running from room to room scampering across second-floor awnings to ducking into basements and kitchens below street level. I die here… a lot. 

Creek:

Creek grab

This map’s sniper heaven. It’s got high ground on both sides of the map and a ravine running up the middle. Many good sniping areas can be found. There’s also a cave where you can release the inner mole as well as houses with accessible roofs on which to scamper. I’ve had some success here as a sniper and love planting claymores in the cave entrances. 

Broadcast: 

Broadcast grab

The Broadcast is set in, you guessed it, a television broadcast facility in an unnamed Middle Eastern country. The action on this map is spread out over a wide area. There’s plenty of sniping spots as well as lotsa rooms for close-in action. Grenades seem popular here. Listen for the tinkle. I like sniping and grenading here. 

The price of all this goodness? A measly 800 credits. Money well spent. You should buy this. Go. 

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Is it that I suck at Call of Duty 4 multiplayer or are some people truly gifted with what must be superhuman abilities in this game? I just switched from playing COD3 over to the modern warfare version of the game in hopes of being challenged. Oh boy, am I ever challenged. It didn’t take me long to find out just what sort of short-bus warrior I was at playing this game. Having learned the ins and outs of COD3, I was certain I was ready for a rollicking good time killing noobs in the virtual modern era. Six hours into the game and, so far, I’m the noob being schooled. Ouch. I’ve gotta admit the pace is much more frantic in COD4. From the time you first spawn into the game, I was impressed with the increased need for quickness. If you’re not running, you’re gonna die. Soon. Those days of camping out with a sniper rifle in COD3 are over, baby. If you stay in place after shooting your weapon just once, someone’s going to find you, kill you and Lipton your ass. Tea-bagging, while less prevalent here than in COD3, is still the universal sign that you’ve been owned. Check out my earlier post on this topic if you’ve never heard of tea-bagging or my elegant word for it… ANYHOW, the online arena for this game can be nasty. I’ve been called every carnal epithet in the book in the X-box live arenas. Most of the time it was for some stupid thing I had done to jeopardize other players   — like lingering in a doorway or not moving off my spawn point fast enough. I’m learning, however, and am slowly climbing the experience rating ladder. God help me. I still suck.

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Dear Diary,
The little kids have been real mean to me today.
I was minding my own business on the Eder Dam map of Call of Duty 3 when a mean sniping kid (I think he was eight!) planted one in my skull from about a quarter mile away. I never saw it coming. AND if that wasn’t bad enough…while waiting to spawn, I see him approach my prone, cold, dead body and start making humping motions over my corpse!!!
That’s right Diary, he was making his character go up and down on my body like some crazed dachshund on a particularly attractive leg. Sheesh! If this was the NFL, he’d get a flag for doing that. Make them stop. I want Mommy. Tea-bagging is the word for it. I was tea-bagged, pwned, in-your-faced by another player who wanted me to know without a doubt that he was better than me. Humping a corpse, if you didn’t know, is the universal sign for killing a newbie in a particularly humiliating manner. Examples are: killing using the flag as a weapon (in capture the flag contests), using a pistol at close range, killing with fists in melee combat, etc., etc.
Gotta admit that that combination of button B, button A over and over again was a bit funny. To me. You see, I’ve been gaming online since the early eighties when playing in cyberland was a bit pricey and putting up fools was part of the price. It was there that I first encountered that rare breed of player – the taunting jerk. You don’t have to play long to run into one and, for the thin skinned, the experience could raise even Ghandi’s blood pressure. They play to irritate and lord over others in a virtual environment where there’s little chance of getting the punch-out they so richly deserve.
For me though, it was funny. Up, down, up, down….Up, down.
Pity he didn’t notice one of my teammates sneaking up behind him.
Bang!
We returned the favor.

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I had an interesting experience playing Call of Duty 3 on Xbox Live last night/early this morning. What started out as a routine night of carnage (for the 3rd night in a row!) and random slaughter turned into one of the more interesting experiences I’ve had online since the mid-eighties when I flew with a band of AirWarrior pilots known as the Flying Squirrels. Anyway, I was plugging along near midnight with several Brits and assorted non-Americans who seem to own the server at this time of night when I hooked up with a young ‘un that had some pretty mad driving skills. He drove and I manned the .50 cal for several trips across the Eder Dam map.Great fun. Call of Duty 3 screenieSince we both had headsets, we trash talked up a storm as we drove cross country like maniacs. Boy did we rack up the kills!Now here’s the good part.After the game ended, he invited over to the Poisson map to show me some “glitches.” Having heard about but never seen one, I dutifully followed him to the map of this quaint French village and got schooled on the fine art of “glitching.”Glitching, if you didn’t already know, is exploiting gaps in the texture mapping and game coding to allow your player to do things not normally allowed by game physics. Using the “glitch” allows you to shoot through walls, lurk unseen in the middle of a roaring fire or enter areas of the map that are off limits by design or terrain type….and that’s just the glitches my little Brit friend shared with me….on this one map. Neat.Don’t get me wrong, I think using the glitch is lame and cheating. However, now that I know where to find the three I know about on this particular map, I’ll never be ambushed by the unseen glitcher again….well, at least I’ll make it harder for him to kill me….. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I suck at these games. <clarification> I suck at these games when playing against teenagers. Betcha thought I’d be sharing these glitches with you here. You’d be wrong.Keep your head down, DTSh00ter out.

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Call of Duty 4 screenshot         I was blown away (several times actually, but in a good way though) by the graphics and gameplay of this awesome first-person shooter! Why is it I had the most problem with the “easy” missions and blew through the tough ones on the first try? I mean, I finished the control room mission with over 7 minutes to spare compared to my son squeaking by with only FIVE SECONDS left!! I have temporary bragging rights around the house after that one! I’m enjoying that moment while it lasts because, I don’t have the time to spend getting really good at one particular game like he has. Life’s too short and there’s too many games to be played…and I want to play as many as I can. Now that I’ve finished COD4, I’m finding myself entering arcade mode and playing “death from above” over and over again. I just love to reach out and touch the baddies from the warm comfort of my AC-130 Spectre gunship…Infinity Ward does it again! I give this game five stars for gameplay, graphics, storyline, sound effects and total immersion. My only ding would be I WANT MORE MISSIONS!!! Once finished, sit through the credits and you’ll receive one last mission.  It’s worth the wait. Sorry, no spoilers here…hehe.



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